What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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