Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
