hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
PANTIES FOUND
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