Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
