i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
