But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
