I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
