You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
