do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
