I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
