Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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