We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
