hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
operation harelip BJ is a go
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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