I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
