Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
