You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
