matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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