Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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