Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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