Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
