remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
