I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize