All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
