Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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