Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
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