i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
apparently the secret to your success is patron
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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