why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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