And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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