I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
