Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
