I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
