I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
