How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I don't think brook has ever known best
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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