shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
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My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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