That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I hope mine doesn't look like that
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
foreskin is a definite game changer
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
