i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize