How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
