i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
