Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
