Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize