Buhtt sex?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
