i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
