Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
