My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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