very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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