What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
