This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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