i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
