Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
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I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
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Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize