Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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