so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
