Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
