but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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