Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
