i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
