is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
