What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
