we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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