I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
