I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
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