Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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