He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my mouth tastes like poor choices
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have tasted many bathrooms
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