I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
