If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I currently don't understand fingers.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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