i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
