ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
